Can’t We All Just Get Along?

I had my first Facebook unfriending as a result of this blog. Although I expected the possibility of losing friends, I guess I wasn’t really prepared for it, nor could I have been. I have no regrets about anything I have posted, but it still hurts, and it frustrates me. No one likes to be rejected, no matter what the circumstances. I think the most frustrating part of all is the fact that this person is a “Christian”. I have had them in my home, I have cooked them dinner. Yet now, they want nothing to do with me. How does that even fit into the Christian principles they have been taught? If Jesus had Facebook he would definitely still be my friend…along with his 12 disciples.

It is Christians like this that make it so hard for the gay community to trust them. So many have been hurt that they want nothing to do with God or the church. I have learned to separate people from God and know that he still loves me, and is always there for me, even when his people are not. I also want to point out that I am incredibly grateful for those who have remained my friend, who have read my blog, who have listened, and although may not understand…have tried. It means more to me than you could imagine.

I can’t deny that I am still frustrated. I am frustrated with the Christian community, and even with the gay community. There is ignorance on both sides. The Christian community is overly focused on the idea of love the sinner hate the sin… or that being gay is an abomination that they fail to see that we are human beings just like them that pray to the same God. The gay community has been so hurt by the Christian community that they automatically assume that all Christians hate them and don’t give them a second chance. Not all Christians are against gay people. Not all Christians think it is a sin. There are plenty of them out there that are the most empathetic, understanding, loving, and Christ like people. There are churches out there that are accepting of Gay people… but why are there only certain churches? We are creating a sense of segregation and it is pathetic. We are all people. We are all sinners, and no matter what, in the end– love wins. There shouldn’t be gay churches and regular churches. If there is only one God, then why are we creating such a spiritual battle which in the end only leads to people being hurt?

There are so many different sins out there.. and lets say being gay was in fact a sin… why is the church so focused on this one issue? There are liars, thieves, murderers, adulterers…etc. all of these labels/sins have a negative affect on other people around them, however, being gay does not. We still contribute positively to the people around us. We are good people. We are not out to recruit, or corrupt your children. Nor are we contagious. We are simply just different, but not that different. We want to be accepted, acknowledged, and loved, just like everyone else.

14 thoughts on “Can’t We All Just Get Along?

  1. Like you said… the end… wins. Why are some sins accepted, and others aren’t in the church. We’ve all been hurt one time or another by the church. That’s why we learn to separate ourselves from these self-proclaimed loving Christians, to what we know in our heart with a personal relationship with Him. God knows our hearts….each & everyone of us. Love you!’

  2. when we are honest it is likely that some people will not like us, but also likely that people who do like us will like us even more. i think that honesty is worth that risk.

  3. Love you, Amber! And, love your insight. There is way too much hate in this world and, sadly so much is expressed by those who call themselves Christians! Jesus loved and, loves us no matter what!!! And, my love for you has never changed!!!

    Love you, always!

    Aunt Mimi

  4. I just realized you had a new blog. I love your openness honesty and I couldn’t agree more… aren’t there more important things in the world than who loves who? Isn’t the person that you are inside much more important?

    To chime in with Molly: I like you more for being so honest.

    1. Thanks San 🙂 yess I agree the person on the inside is more important and if you think about it why are we fighting about love???

      Thanks again for your comment 🙂 means a lot

  5. It’s so discouraging to me that people use God as an excuse to hate people. And the “hate the sin, love the sinner” junk drives me crazy, too. In my liberal-Quaker beliefs, a sin is something that separates a person from God and God’s message of love. So how could loving someone be a sin? In my experience, loving and nurturing relationships with people (ok, and cats) are what bring me closer to God. I can’t fathom how a person who fosters a loving and nurturing relationship with someone of the same sex is any different from the loving and nurturing relationship I strive to build with my husband. It literally baffles me that people think all homosexuality is a “sin”.
    I look forward to the talks I’ll have with my kids, where I’ll be able to say, “when I was your age, two men or two women couldn’t get married” and we will just LAUGH at how silly and backwards laws were. Kind of like how we laugh at the idea that it used to be illegal for mixed race couples.
    Keep blogging 🙂 Love what you have to say!

    1. Thanks for your kind words 🙂 and “a sin is something that separates a person from God and God’s message of love. So how could loving someone be a sin?” Ah such a good point. Thank you so much for sharing and reading.

  6. Life is difficult. Be true to who you are; try to never compromise that. People are people; learn to be an observer and that it’s their stuff, not yours. Judgement is ugly and hurtful and the easy way out to not face their own fears. Honesty is beautiful and difficult and promotes growth. Lose 1 gain many. We only need a few true friends who each give and bring something different to us and us to them. You’re awesome!

  7. When I was 14 my very dearest guy friend wrote me a letter revealing to me that he was, in fact, gay. Confessed to me all the things he had been feeling for as long as he could remember. We went to the same church. Both our families raised us to that point as christian’s do..”love one another.” He didn’t feel comfortable telling anyone but me of his secret life for fear of losing friends, family, you name it. My love for him is so deep and my heart hurt for him. Not because I was disappointed in his gayness but because he had been hiding this for so long, with not a soul to confide in. My prayer for any person living in the darkness with any kind of “secret” is that they would have someone to confide in. Life is so not meant to be lived alone. We are called to be a community of brothers and sisters. Not to judge but to accept and support and love. My prayer for anyone with a fear of rejection is that they would be able to put aside any doubt that they are worthy of love and come to know true happiness and life. To my friends yet to come out of the darkness, you are worthy, you are lovely, and you can do this! This crazy thing called life. Forgive those Christians who are so broken and misguided. There are people out there living closely to the model Jesus set for us who would love nothing more than to crush the stereotype of Christian’s today. I am one of them 🙂 Love to you Codi

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