This Is Me

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I shaved my head the other day. Well mostly, except a one-half inch long strip that runs down the center. My head has a happy trail. Don’t be jealous.

I hit a low point. It seems that whenever I hit a low point in life, or a point where I crave a need for change, I cut my hair. It has become my way of starting fresh when I need a reminder that without lows there are no highs and that I can be brave and move on.

At first, I felt a lot like this…

britney-spears-shaved-head-400a061907

But then after awhile, I started feeling more like this…

gijane

It is kind of strange the way shaving your head brings out insecurities. Seeing the surface of my head for the first time, it’s exact shape, and every odd bump I had never seen before was interesting. I felt liberated, but a little vulnerable and exposed. Feeling vulnerable is not my strong point. Showing emotions is one thing, but I feel vulnerable every time I open my mouth. I see each word that comes out of my mouth as something that can be used against me. I am realizing I have a lot less issues with being shy, and a lot more issues with feeling vulnerable. I can be a perfectionist so I don’t like to reveal my flaws. It is as if I would rather say nothing than reveal something that someone may not like about me. The more I learn to love myself, the less I tend to care about whether someone else likes me or not. It is my life. This is who I am, and that is not going to change. As my friend Molly says… “I’m ready to let my freak flag fly”.

There are a few things you will learn about me once I open my mouth.

I’m not shy, I’m vulgar, I have a personality and an opinion, shit talking is like foreplay to me, I can’t sing sing to save my life, but I am also kind, caring, empathetic, and compassionate. I’m a good person and strangely enough shaving my head has given me a better sense of this. I recommend everyone shave their head at least once in your life. You will feel easy breezy beautiful. ( I do however, recommend waiting until summer ).

Hello world, this is me. Shaved head, tattoos, and gayer than Ellen Degeneres and Jane Lynch combined. I hope you will still like me, but if you don’t… well then, you don’t. Life goes on, and I can shave my head again next week.

 

 

 

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7 thoughts on “This Is Me

  1. You’re AWESOME!!! we are ALL flawed to one degree or another; I suspect you are much more evolved than you realize. Hair is just….hair. It grows; I find that hair is the one thing I actually have control of in my life, so it’s cathartic to change it up here and there. Keep on keepin on Ambs….;)

  2. I understand what you’re saying, I did the same thing a few months ago in the summer. Hair is just hair, but without it, you can’t hide anymore. You look good without hair!

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